No iPods in Asgard, Lewis!
by CeliaEquus
Summary: Thor invites the Avengers and friends to Asgard for Christmas, since it's a time for family. Amidst songs led by Darcy Lewis - who has no problems disobeying Fury's orders - there are revelations, get-togethers, and Christmassy whatnot. Various pairings. Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers, or any other Marvel thingummies, nor am I making money from this. Rated to be safe.
1. The Christmas Song

"The Christmas Song"

"Welcome to Asgard, my friends!" Thor bellowed, waving his arms and nearly hitting Heimdall.

Thor was the only Avenger with any real family left; so, when he was told that the Midgardian celebration called Christmas was for family and friends, he insisted that his fellow Avengers come home with him. Since the clean-up in New York – and ensuing media frenzy – had caused them to miss Thanksgiving, they decided what the hell, and took him up on the offer. After Fury gave them permission, that is.

"Let us know if we're needed," Maria said, pointing at Heimdall. She had a stronger stomach than some of the others, and she recovered quickly. "That's the deal, right? Thor said you would tell us if the world needs rescuing."

"That is correct," he said. "You have my word, Agent Hill."

She nodded stiffly, then turned. They all seemed mostly back to form after the trip on the rainbow bridge. Surprisingly (or maybe not so surprisingly), Jane Foster's assistant, Darcy Lewis, was already grinning as she looked around.

"Time for you to meet the parents, boss," she said, punching Jane on the arm.

At least if Maria was going to be stuck babysitting the Avengers on this inter-dimensional trip – even if it was only for a week, hopefully less – she was glad to have powerful 'normal' people on her side. Pepper Potts would keep Stark under control, Rogers was always well-behaved, Banner would (hopefully) keep it together, and Romanov and Barton would likely follow orders from their leader. Whether they considered their leader to be Maria or Rogers, it didn't matter.

Actually, the unknown element in this whole thing was Lewis. With any luck, she'd stick to Thor, Jane, and Thor's friends. They'd all met before. The fewer charges Maria had to worry about, the better.

There was no way she intended to be distracted from her real reason for accompanying the Avengers.

Darcy was trying not to bounce in her seat… oh, who was she kidding? There was no point in trying.

She was in a-freaking-nother world! Surrounded by gods and superheroes! Okay, so it wasn't the first time. But this was in a palace, and there were uber-gods and goddesses. Thor's dad and mum were super scary and super welcoming, respectively. _And_ Darcy wasn't the only one who'd been intimidated by them, she knew.

It was dinnertime. Frigga – Thor's mum – was talking with Agent Hill. Next to her was Steve, then Pepper, Natasha, Clint, Darcy, Sif, and Volstagg. Odin was next to his wife. Thor was to his right, then Jane, Bruce, Tony (they liked to talk science), Hogun, and Fandral. Odin, Thor, and Jane were discussing Jane's work, and Bruce was listening as Tony talked with Thor's friends.

"Keeping tabs on everyone?" Clint asked. Darcy nearly choked on her mead. Apparently, it had to be watered down for the mortals. "You'll be an agent of SHIELD in no time."

"Funny," Darcy said. "Really. You should be a comedian, not a sharpshooter."

"Sharpshooters use guns," he replied. "I'll stick with bow and arrow."

"Whatever puts your own guns on display," she murmured, pretending to ogle his arms. Unfortunately, they were covered, and she pouted. Clint snorted.

"If I ogled you like that, you'd call me a pervert," he said.

"Nope. If you stared at my brea… uh, _arms_, I'd be more than happy."

"It'll be weird to have Christmas without the usual songs," Clint said, obviously trying to move the topic on before Natasha belted him around the head. "I mean, it's not like I've had a real Christmas in years. But usually I listen to something, even if it's just at a bar or in a shop."

Darcy pretended to look around stealthily, then pulled something out from inside her jacket. Clint's eyes widened.

"You brought your iPod?"

"Yep," she said. Maria paused, and her head whipped around, eyes narrowing.

"He told you to leave that behind," she said sharply.

"Who was that?" Natasha asked.

"Fury," Darcy said, shrugging. "I've had my iPod taken once. Not gonna happen a… oh. Sorry." Pepper, Natasha, Clint, and Maria all flinched at the reference to Agent Coulson. "Anyway, now we can listen to Christmassy music. No more than one or two songs a day. This baby's at full battery now, but that won't last. Gotta eke out the power."

"Uh, yeah," Steve said. He looked so adorable when he was confused, and he shrugged at Frigga. "I'm still trying to get a handle on this, your majesty."

"You know more of these things than we do, dear," Frigga said, and she patted his arm.

"What does it have to do with eyes?" Sif asked.

"I've never known the answer to that," Darcy said.

"You have music for this Midgardian celebration of yours?" Frigga asked. Maria answered.

"Yes," she said. "More songs are written every year. All different styles of music."

"You can't go wrong with the classics," Darcy said.

"Like 'Once in Royal David's City'?" Steve asked.

"N-no. I mean, _those_ classics are great, but since we're with gods, singing about the son of a monotheistic deity wouldn't exactly be appropriate," she replied. There were a lot of raised eyebrows, and she beamed smugly. "I can talk like a grown-up, too. But, your majesty, we'd be happy to show you some of these songs."

"I would like that," Frigga said.

They'd already had the tour of the main part of the palace on their arrival; so after dinner they all adjourned to a large room where everyone could sit around. Darcy was placed near Thor's folks, and she sheepishly withdrew her iPod. Tony made some kind of enraged sound.

"That's it!" he said. "I'm getting you something more up-to-date than that. I'll _make_ something more up-to-date! This is a personal challenge, I'll have you know, Lewis."

"Be quiet, Tony," Pepper said, nudging her ex's knee with her own. He scowled at the iPod, but shut up.

"Okay, so someone wanna pick a favourite song from this list?" Darcy said, bringing up her Christmas playlist. "C'mon. Don't be shy. Thor? You invited us here."

The others agreed that Thor should pick first, even though he didn't know anything about Christmas music. He crouched behind Darcy, and watched as she scrolled through the songs. Then he called a halt.

"That one," he said. "Surely such a ballad would be the epitome of Christmas?"

"Well, it's certainly named 'The Christmas Song' for a reason," Darcy said, smiling as she hit the play button. She cranked up the volume while the song buffered, and hoped it would work. She probably should have tested it earlier…

Yes! It worked!

_Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,_

_Jack Frost nipping at your nose._

_Yuletide carols being sung by a choir_

_And folk dressed up like Eskimos._

Darcy wondered briefly whether they would have to explain any of the references to the Asgardians. Even Thor, for his few months spent on Earth, knew very little about Jane's world. Jack Frost, Yuletide, Eskimos. They'd probably never even heard of Santa Claus!

_Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe_

_Helps to make the season bright_

_Tiny tots with their eyes open wide_

_Will find it hard to sleep tonight._

This seemed to be going okay. Maybe Fury wouldn't garrotte her when he found out that she'd kind of, sort of, disobeyed his orders. She couldn't pretend to have misunderstood them, right? 'No iPods in Asgard, Lewis!' was pretty clear.

_They know that Santa's on his way;_

_He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh;_

_And every mother's child is gonna spy_

_To see if reindeer really know how to fly!_

(Although, when you think about it, he'd said 'iPods'. Plural. She'd only brought one. Sure, he didn't seem like the kind of guy who'd accept that as an excuse. Hey, if she brought peace between two worlds because of the power of music, he wouldn't hate her forever.

Right?)

_And so I'm offering this simple phrase_

_To kids from one to ninety-two:_

_Although it's been said, many times, many ways,_

_Merry Christmas to you._

**Happy days are here again! Or, well, a Christmas fic. I haven't written one of these in ages. Must have been about a year since my last one. (Gee, I wonder why?)**

**Anyway, this is my first Avengers Christmas fic, and probably the only Christmas fic I'll write this year. Unless I feel particularly generous/inspired before the holiday season is over. And I consider Boxing Day to be the end of the holiday season. Or something.**

**Point is, this is also my first Avengers songfic, although it isn't my usual style of songfic. I just loved this idea, and decided to run with it. I'm sure Darcy would approve. Don't think she's aware of just how dangerous Nick Fury is. I only hope he's aware that she isn't aware.**

**And now this has turned into an episode of 'Yes, Prime Minister'. Bother.**

**Want to guess what the next chapter's character and song will be?**


	2. All I Want for Christmas is You

"All I Want for Christmas is You"

Thor was beaming, his arms around Jane's waist. Odin and Frigga were holding hands, smiling as they listened. Everyone else was scattered around the floor randomly, already mixing with the people from the other worlds.

"Right," Darcy said, hitting pause at the end of the track. "We could do one more tonight. Unless Iron Man here can recharge this thing?" She waved the piece of tech. He all but turned his nose up at it.

"Nope," he said. "Even if I wanted to, I don't think I could. Haven't got the right tools with me."

"So someone choose next," Darcy said, shaking her iPod. "Running on limited time here, people."

"Jane," Thor said. "Will you not select a composition?"

"Okay," Jane said. "Better have something good, Lewis."

"Don't I always?" Darcy said, trying to look innocent. Judging by Clint's so-not-hidden sniggers, she was failing. Jane bent over behind Darcy, and flipped through the songs, humming her approval. (Darcy knew her approval-hums. She heard them whenever Jane had real good coffee. Or saw Thor in tight jeans.)

"This one," she said. She blushed at her boyfriend. "This is for you, Thor."

He sat up even straighter, and Darcy shook her head fondly, waiting until Jane was back in his arms before she hit play.

_I don't want a lot for Christmas,_

_There is just one thing I need._

_I don't care about the presents_

_Underneath the Christmas tree._

_I just want you for my own,_

_More than you could ever know._

_Make my wish come true:_

_All I want for Christmas is you!_

She saw Tony roll his eyes as the song began. He had no soul. This was romantic! Just because he couldn't get his head his head out of his ass and ask Banner to din…

Darcy loved this song! She bopped along with the upbeat tempo.

_I don't want a lot for Christmas,_

_There is just one thing I need_

_And I don't care about the presents,_

_Underneath the Christmas tree._

_I don't need to hang my stocking_

_There upon the fireplace._

_Santa Claus won't make me happy_

_With a toy on Christmas day._

_I just want you for my own,_

_More than you could ever know._

_Make my wish come true:_

_All I want for Christmas is you._

_You, baby._

_Oh…_

It was a long song, even if it was upbeat, but everyone around seemed to dig it. Darcy even noticed Odin tapping along to it on Frigga's palm. The queen winked at Darcy. Honest-to-Norse-god winked at her!

This was this best holiday _ever_.

And who did Stark think he was kidding, leaning just a bit closer to Bruce? Not that the doctor noticed. His eyes were closed as he bobbed along as well. The Warriors Three and Sif were trying to sing along. Even Natasha was mouthing the lyrics.

Funnily enough, the least energetic were Jane and Thor, so wrapped up in each other that they probably would've forgotten everyone if it wasn't for the music, and the loud chorusing from the other Asgardians. Jane was clearly whispering the words to Thor. His smile was so bright it was painful. A normal person's face would have cracked by now, if they kept smiling like that.

_I don't want a lot for Christmas,_

_This is all I'm asking for._

_I just want to see my baby_

_Standing right outside my door._

_I just want him for my own,_

_More than you could ever know._

_Make my wish come true:_

_All I want for Christmas is you._

_Ooh, baby._

_All I want for Christmas is you, baby._

"Can I pick next?" Tony called, almost wriggling in spot. Pepper placed a hand on his shoulder.

"We need to wait until tomorrow night," she said. "Remember the battery?"

Darcy had switched off the iPod as soon as the song came to its belted finish. She was fine singing it at home, in the shower; but there was no way she was going to try hitting that high note in public. Especially not in front of royalty.

She shivered. Short life-span of her iPod notwithstanding, this was going to be an epic Christmas break. She just knew it. Great food, great company, a little bit of music.

"If someone could show us to our rooms, that would be wonderful," Natasha said. Darcy had noticed her enthusiasm draining towards the end of the song. Well, the assassin _was_ of the opinion that love was just something you felt in childhood. She'd said it before. A lot. She probably just wanted the evening to be over.

As everyone separated by gender, Darcy couldn't help agreeing. She sure was getting tired. They all said goodnight, until Thor and his friends led the men in one direction, and Sif led the girls in the other.

"The female guest sleeping quarters are in the next hallway," she said. Maria was striding next to her, leaving Jane, Pepper, Natasha, and Darcy to bring up the rear. "You will have much more space than the men. Thor told us that you would wish to remain together for the duration of your stay?"

"That's correct," Maria said. "Where will you be sleeping?"

"I will slumber in the same apartment as you," Sif said. She stopped abruptly, and they nearly crashed into each other. Well, Darcy nearly crashed into Jane. Everyone else was better at stopping suddenly. "Here."

Sif pushed open a fancy door, and led them all into an even fancier bedroom. In all the camps Darcy had been on, this bunkroom outstripped _all_ of them. It was bigger than the throne room, there were six beds spread far apart, with huge trunks at the end, a large washing area, and huge, plush carpets and cushions at the other end, the one closest to the door. Their things were already in place. Darcy laughed, and threw herself backwards onto the nearest stack of cushions.

"This is nice," she said, gazing around at all the – there was no other word for it – opulence. She bet it was nicer than Buckingham Palace, and more secure than Fort Knox. "Can we stay here forever?"

"Come," Sif said, between chuckles, "get into your bedroom attire, friend Darcy."

"Why, Miss Sif, are you trying to seduce me?" Darcy asked, fluttering her eyelashes. "I must inform you that while you are a _very_ attractive young lady, I am more drawn towards the male of the species."

Jane, Pepper, and Sif were all laughing by this time. Maria was giving Darcy a warning look as she dragged her pyjamas out from under her pillow. Natasha was half-smiling, but concentrating on… well, whatever she was doing. Probably looking for bugs.

"Aye, I had thought as much," Sif said. "I do not seek to rob you of your heart's companion. However, you may find yourself more comfortable in less formal wear."

"True," Darcy said, heaving herself up. "Lead me to my bed, ladies. And, Sif, I've got to ask about the plumbing here…"

* * *

**Practicalities before pleasure, Darcy.**

**I'm having fun writing this. I've only seen 'Thor' once, and read a whole heap of fan fiction with the various characters; so, basically, I'm running off memories and non-canon stuff. Bother. Well, it wouldn't be the first time. Sometimes I start thinking of fan fiction when I haven't even read or seen things in a fandom, simply because of what I've read of the characters in other stories.**

**Meh. May I introduce myself as one of the most peculiar people you'll ever meet?**

**Gonna guess the next character and song? Okay, so you can probably guess who'll be next from a clue in this chapter (and it's not subtle, so technically it's not a clue). As to the song… hmm. It's, uh. It was in the first 'Glee' Christmas episode, and it's a song appropriate to the character choosing it.**

**Oh crikes. Am I being obscure again? (YES.)**


	3. Baby, It's Cold Outside

"Baby, It's Cold Outside"

After another hearty meal, Asgardians and Midgardians alike gathered in the same room as last time. Odin and Frigga had invited a few others to join, and listen to the music. Darcy didn't mind. When it came to her music, the more, the merrier! No matter what certain iPod-stealers said…

She shook her head, determined not to think about that. Taking the same place of honour as yesterday, she looked around.

"So we've had Thor and Jane," she said. "Who wants to pick the next number?"

"Me, me!" Tony said, waving a hand. "I'll build you a better iPod! A StarkPod!"

"You already said you'd do that," she pointed out. He started to pout. "Well, no one else is begging, so okay. You can choose the next song."

Tony fist-pumped the air, then hurried over to her. She saw him smile charmingly at the king and queen before he squatted behind Darcy.

"Hey!" she said when he took it out of her hands. She snatched it back, and he grumbled as she showed him her playlist.

"That one," he said, jabbing his finger at the screen. She paused the song before it could get going, and waved him back to his place, again between Pepper and Bruce. "You're good to go, Lewis. Mind if I sing along?"

"Help yourself," she said. According to JARVIS, he sang along with music a lot in his workshop, so at least he was a seasoned singer-alonger. "Hope you don't mind the 'Glee' version."

"It's perfect," he said, and grinned. She grinned back, and hit the play button.

Sure enough, Stark sang along.

_I really can't stay. (But baby, it's cold outside.)_

_I've got to go `way. (But baby, it's cold outside.)_

_This evening has been (Been hoping that you'd drop in)_

_So very nice. (I'll hold your hands. They're just like ice.)_

_My mother will start to worry, (Beautiful, what's your hurry?)_

_And Father will be pacing the floor. (Listen to the fireplace roar.)_

_So really, I'd better scurry! (Beautiful, please don't hurry.)_

_Well, maybe just a half a drink more. (Put some records on while I pour.)_

Tony started with Bruce, since he was just next to him, singing the second part. When he turned to Pepper, she sang some of the other part, but eventually shoved him playfully, so he turned his attention to Maria. Her look convinced him to try elsewhere.

_My neighbours might think. (Baby, it's bad out there!)_

_Say! What's in this drink? (No cabs to be had out there.)_

_I wish I knew how (Your eyes are like starlight now)_

_To break the spell. (I'll take your hat. Your hair looks swell.)_

Clint was Tony's next victim. He swiped a finger across his next in the universal 'I'll kill you' sign. It encouraged Tony to return to flirting with Bruce.

_I ought to say, "No, no, no, sir!" (Mind if I move in closer?)_

_At least I'm gonna say that I tried. (What's the sense of hurting my pride?)_

_I really can't stay. (Oh baby, don't hold out.)_

_**Ah, but it's cold outside**__._

Darcy couldn't hear it, but Bruce must have told Tony to turn his attention elsewhere. She was in a prime position to see the slightest wince on the billionaire's face, before he began to sing to Volstagg.

_I simply must go. (But baby, it's cold outside.)_

_The answer is "No!" (But baby, it's cold outside.)_

_The welcome has been (How lucky that you dropped in.)_

_So nice and warm. (Look out the window at that storm.)_

He turned from Volstagg to Sif. She wasn't the only one in fits of giggles. Darcy wondered how much mead everyone had had to drink. It'd been a lazy day of getting used to their surroundings, talking about what they'd done during the night (it was brief conversation, before everyone from Earth had collapsed from exhaustion), and seeing more of the world outside of the palace walls.

Tony then sang to Steve, making the soldier blush.

_My sister will be suspicious. (Gosh, your lips look delicious.)_

_My brother will be there at the door. (Like waves upon a tropical shore.)_

_My maiden aunt's mind is vicious. (Gosh, your lips are delicious.)_

_Well, maybe just a cigarette more. (Never such a blizzard before.)_

But it seemed that Tony couldn't stay away from Bruce for long, and he sang the rest of the song to his science bro, an arm around his shoulder. He held Pepper close as well. As if that could really divert suspicion. But for a scientist, Bruce Banner could be surprisingly dense.

_I've got to get home. (Baby, you'd freeze out there.)_

_Say, darling, can you lend me your comb? (It's up to your knees out there.)_

_You've really been grand, (I thrill when you touch my hand.)_

_But don't you see. (How can you do this thing to me?)_

_There's bound to be talk tomorrow. (Think of my lifelong sorrow)_

_At least there will be plenty implied. (If you caught pneumonia and died.)_

_I really can't stay. (Get over that old doubt.)_

_**Ah, but it's cold outside**__._

Actually, scratch that. It seemed that a lot of people were dense. Everyone applauded Tony's mostly one-sided duet, and Pepper waved off their clapping for her short effort. At least the song had been loud enough for everyone to hear both parts.

"Who's next? C'mon!" Darcy called.

"The Lady Pepper sang, and so she must continue to serenade us!" Volstagg declared. He had _definitely_ been drinking mead. He didn't bat an eyelid when Tony flirted with him through song. Maybe if he'd been the only one singled out. Truth is, Tony had made eye contact with everyone in the room at least once during his song, even the queen and king.

"Love for people of your own sex is acceptable in Midgard?" Frigga asked Darcy.

"Yes, your highness," she said. "It isn't here?"

"Of course it is," was the regal reply. "Yet I understood that this had been less tolerated in your realm."

"Some people still aren't tolerant," Darcy said. "But it's not illegal anymore, and gay marriage is allowed in some places, so it's all good. It could be better, but it's definitely been worse before."

"'Gay'?"

"Just another word for… 'h-homosexual', your highness," Darcy admitted, fighting a blush. Frigga smiled kindly.

"It once meant 'happy', did it not?"

"Yeah, it did."

"How strange."

"Earth's like that."

* * *

**What, am I going all philosophical now, or something?**

**Pepper's going to be next. Yay for 'Glee' connections! For those of you not in the know, Gwyneth Paltrow plays Holly Holiday in 'Glee'. She's been in several episodes now, just popping up every so often. She dances and sings, people! I hope she's going to appear again in the future, though it's probably not likely. Sigh.**

**Also, the fact that Tony says the 'Glee' version is appropriate is not because of Gwyneth Paltrow (because why would it be?) but because two boys sing it. And in this fic… well, Tony's becoming more blatant, isn't he? Or something.**

**You can figure it out. I'm moving onto the next chapter.**


	4. We Need a Little Christmas

"We Need a Little Christmas"

In the end, Pepper assented to peer pressure.

"Okay," she said. "I'll choose the next song, but only because I need to head back to Earth… sorry, Midgard tomorrow. Heimdall told me that there's going to be a press conference for Stark Industries in the afternoon, followed by a meeting. You won't be needed for either of them, Tony," she added, when Tony went to speak. "Stay here with your friends. I'll come back if I can. It depends on what happens."

"How did they know how to contact you?" he asked, eyebrows nearly to his hairline.

"Remind me to send a thank you basket of muffins to Nick Fury," she said, smirking as she stood. Tony gaped at her as she sauntered over to Darcy. "What have you got for me?"

"Anything," Darcy said sultrily, and Pepper shook her head as she sat down and leaned over Darcy's shoulder. "Well, except the songs we've done so far."

"I'll try not to take too long," Pepper said. "Oh, why not? Let's go with some musical theatre. I feel like something snappy, not sentimental."

"Great," Darcy said, hitting pause on the number Pepper had chosen. "Go sit down. Can you sing along with this?"

"Not only that, I'm going to get everyone else singing along," Pepper whispered, "if I have to drag the notes out of them."

"Even I don't know all the words for this one."

"I don't think anyone does, except me."

_Haul out the holly,_

_Put up the tree before my spirit falls again;_

_Fill up the stocking,_

_I may be rushing things, but deck the halls again now._

Pepper was singing really well, encouraging the others to move along with her, and leading them into the chorus.

_For we need a little Christmas_

_Right this very minute,_

_Candles in the window,_

_Carols at the spinet._

_Yes, we need a little Christmas,_

_Right this very minute,_

_It hasn't snowed a single flurry,_

_But Santa, dear, we're in a hurry._

Darcy had no idea how, but Pepper was actually prompting the others. The Asgardians didn't know the song, and had no idea how it would continue. But Tony, Darcy, Clint, Jane, and Maria all seemed to know enough to chime in, and the others were picking it up pretty quickly.

_So climb down the chimney,_

_Turn on the brightest string of lights I've ever seen;_

_Slice up the fruitcake,_

_It's time we hung some tinsel on that evergreen bough._

_For I've grown a little leaner,_

_Grown a little colder,_

_Grown a little sadder,_

_Grown a little older._

_And I need a little angel,_

_Sitting on my shoulder,_

_I need a little Christmas now!_

Then it was time for the last chorus, and those who didn't know the words were belting out 'la-la's, those who kind of knew the words made some up to fill in the blanks, and Pepper was all but dancing as she conducted. Darcy helped her bring it home.

_For we need a little music,_

_Need a little laughter,_

_Need a little singing_

_Ringing through the rafter._

_And we need a little snappy_

"_Happy ever after,"_

_We need a little Christmas now!_

As soon as the number was over, conscious of the battery, Darcy switched off the iPod. Pepper curtsied to Thor's parents, bowed to everyone else, and settled back down.

"Wish you could stay with us," Tony said.

"I don't relish going back through the Bifröst, but Fury said he'd make sure someone would be there to pick me up."

"You'll come back as soon as you can, right?"

"Of course," Pepper said, and she patted him on the knee. He seemed a bit perkier after that. Darcy noticed that his left arm was still around Bruce's shoulders, and Bruce didn't seem to mind, even though he kept looking at it. Scratch that. He did look a bit uncomfortable.

"Bed-time now!" she said. "Do you have any plans for us tomorrow, your highnesses?"

"Many, Miss Lewis," Odin said, all the power of his eye fixed on her. "But this is something we can discuss during the breaking of fast upon the morrow. Is this agreeable to you all?"

It was agreeable to them all.

Back in the ladies' bedroom, they sat around on the cushions. Except for Pepper, who was packing what she could so that she could set out as early as possible. The attendants who'd been there during the second night of Christmas songs were apparently there to talk to her about the arrangements. They would come and get her after sunrise, and bring her something to eat for the journey. Then she'd finish getting ready – probably take those travel sickness pills she still had on the bedside table, too – and then leave.

"I swear to God… uh, I swear to Odin that the science should-be-boyfriends are driving me nuts," Darcy said, breaking the silence. There were sighs of relief from the others.

"So it's not just me," Jane said. "I don't even live with them, and I've noticed it."

"You spend more time with them than I do!"

"It's funny and sad at the same time," Natasha said. "If Banner was easier to read, I _might_ do something about it. But if it's just for Stark, I'm really not inclined to help."

"But they're your team-mates," Darcy said.

"We have fought together very little. Among ourselves, yes. Less so since… since Manhattan. Pepper, have you noticed anything?"

"Yes, but it's never been as pronounced as it is now," she said. "It must be something in the air here."

"Or the mead," Maria said.

"I suspect it is indeed the drink," Sif said. "Has the Man of Iron previously partaken of Asgardian mead?"

"I hope not," Pepper said, lying down on her bed. "He's sampled pretty much every other kind of alcohol, though."

"Or perhaps it is this season of festivity you so enjoy on Midgard."

"That could be it," Jane said, kicking off one shoe, then the other. "Any ideas to get them together?"

"If only Bruce knew the words for 'Baby, It's Cold Outside'," Darcy said, frustrated. "Then they could have sung the whole thing together, got it out of their system, and finally just… got it on!"

"In front of the king and queen?" Sif asked.

"If need be! Or, on the other hand, not," she added quickly when Maria glared at her again. She was making a habit of that. She must have learned it from Fury. He gave Darcy that look, too.

* * *

**Oh, Darcy.**

**Four songs down, eight to go! We'll be finishing with my favourite Christmas carol, by the way. But my lips are sealed regarding that. And, more effectively, my fingers are (metaphorically) bound.**

**Going sappy for the next chapter. Very sappy. And it's a precursor for future sappiness. Yes. Sappy song for the chapter after that, for that matter. Bless Darcy for having such a good collection of Christmas music. And me, for having excellent taste in music. *Preens* Or not. You decide.**


	5. Grown-Up Christmas List

"Grown-Up Christmas List"

It was only the third night; but apparently that was enough to make it a familiar sight. Darcy's place on the stairs was beginning to feel darn well comfortable, actually. And she really liked looking out over at everyone, just in front of Asgardian royalty, like a… like a princess!

Hey, if Jane married Thor, she'd be Princess Jane. That was pretty cool in itself.

Earlier that day, Darcy and Jane had the extreme good fortune to watch an epic series of sparring matches, Asgard vs Midgard.

"If only all the world's problems could be solved like this," Jane said.

"What? Watching extremely buff and toned superheroes going up in friendly fights against actual gods? Yeah, I could dig being a world leader if I got to watch this all day."

Maria had disappeared at some point, presumably in some kind of talks with Thor's parents about something SHIELD-related or whatever. Darcy hadn't paid much attention to her brief explanation, instead trying to work out some kind of battle chants. In the end, she and Jane just cheered whoever they preferred. Thor swapped sides whenever he grew bored. Considering how little he needed the workout, this was a lot.

After a clean-up and a rest in the afternoon, they had the usual fancy banquet. (Darcy could _totally_ get used to this.) Then it was back to what really should have been temporarily called the Music Room, or Room of Midgardian Festive Tunes.

"We really should do this in some kind of order," Maria said, raising an eyebrow as Darcy switched on her iPod.

"Are you volunteering, Hill?" Darcy said.

"No."

"Well, someone's got to. Don't leave me hanging, people!"

"I volunteer."

They all looked at Natasha. She almost seemed to shrink for a moment. Honest, just for a moment, before she bounced back to her usual self.

"Sure," Darcy said. She shook her head internally as she brought up the Christmas playlist, and nearly jumped out of her skin when she realised that Natasha was behind her. Since when had she been able to Apparate?

"Not yet," Natasha said as Darcy scrolled down. Almost halfway through the list (which Darcy really should have put in alphabetical order), Natasha grabbed her hand, and then pointed. "Play that one for me."

"Yeah," Darcy said. "Do you wanna sit here?"

"No. I'll return to my place."

Natasha got a few strange looks as she passed. Even Odin and Frigga somehow knew to keep silent. Of course, they were gods. They'd know that something was off. Let's emphasise the point. They. Were. _Gods_. Point taken? Good.

"Play."

_Do you remember me?_

_I sat upon your knee._

_I wrote to you with childhood fantasies._

_Well, I'm all grown-up now_

_Can you still help somehow?_

_I'm not a child, but my heart still can dream._

"Really, Romanov? This song?"

"Shut up, Stark. I like irony."

_So here's my lifelong wish,_

_My grown-up Christmas list._

_Not for myself, but for a world in need._

But Natasha didn't sound all that harsh. Something was definitely up. Or down.

_No more lives torn apart_

_And wars would never start_

_And time would heal all hearts._

_Every man would have a friend_

_And right would always win_

_And love would never end._

_This is my grown-up Christmas list._

"This is a touching song," Frigga murmured. Darcy smiled up at her. Natasha wasn't singing; or if she was, it was so quiet that Darcy couldn't hear her.

_What is this illusion called_

'_The innocence of youth'?_

_Maybe only in that blind belief_

_Can we ever find the truth._

Natasha's lips were trembling. If Darcy hadn't been studying her so intently, she never would've picked it up. Singing stopped it, of course. Or mouthing the words. She still couldn't tell from here.

_No more lives torn apart_

_And wars would never start_

_And time would heal all hearts._

_Every man would have a friend_

_And right would always win_

_And love would never end._

_This is my grown-up Christmas list_

_This is my only lifelong wish_

_This is my grown-up Christmas list_.

There was silence. Even Darcy's iPod didn't make a sound when she tapped 'pause' as quietly as she could.

"An admirable choice," Odin said. There were lots of words and nods of agreement. Natasha shrugged, looking down.

"I just like it," she said. "It's a good version, Darce."

"Oh. Thanks," Darcy said, surprised. "It, uh, it's Lea Salonga. Singing. She played Miss Saigon, you know?" It wasn't just the praise that threw her; it wasn't even the nickname. It was a certain something she couldn't put her finger on. It was… it was like it was the most emotion Natasha had ever seen from the Black Widow. Maybe that was it. Jane wasn't the only one in the room crying, after all.

"I miss Phil," Natasha whispered to Clint. It was kind of, well, loud in the otherwise still room. "I miss him so much." Clint glanced at Darcy, at the iPod, then pulled Natasha into a one-armed hug. She hid her face in his neck, arms slipping around his waist. As one, everyone else looked away. Darcy suddenly found herself the subject of their collective gaze.

"Another?" she asked weakly, holding up her iPod. It was like no one wanted to say anything. Not until…

Okay, Darcy was so getting a bracelet with 'BYBB' on it.

_Bless You, Bruce Banner._

* * *

**So now you know who's coming next. I think this is the first chapter of this story with a song that I've used as the basis for another fic before. All of the Christmas songfics that I've written in the past are Harry Potter ones, though, generally with obscure pairings. Meh. Probably of little interest to you.**

**Anywho! Next chapter is another of the ones I've used in a songfic. For that matter, so are the two after that. Hmm. Well, that was unintentional.**

**Okay, I'm boring you by now. Bye!**


	6. Because It's Christmas

"Because It's Christmas"

"I'll choose the next song, if no one else wants to," Bruce said quietly. Darcy relaxed just a bit, and beamed at him.

"Sure thing, doc," she said. "C'mon over here."

He shuffled the last few steps, and lowered himself awkwardly so that he could see the list of songs. Darcy glanced across at Tony as she absentmindedly ran her finger over the screen, and saw that he was watching them carefully. She snorted quietly, stopping when Bruce told her to.

"What's that one?" he asked. She showed him, and he nodded, suddenly smiling. "Yeah. I'd like that."

"You got it."

She didn't start straight away, watching Tony again as Bruce sat beside him. Once they were settled, she pressed 'play'.

_Tonight the stars shine for the children,_

_And light the way for dreams to fly._

_Tonight our love comes wrapped in ribbons,_

_The world is right and hopes are high._

Natasha and Clint were still huddled together, and he was whispering something to her. It made Darcy's heart clench, on so many levels.

_And from a dark and frosted window_

_A child appears to search the sky,_

_Because it's Christmas,_

_Because it's Christmas._

Bruce was singing along softly. But as other voices joined in, his own rose in volume, and Darcy realised that he was losing himself in the words and the emotions. Didn't he look after a lot of children when he was hiding out in the desert? Bet he spent a lot of Christmases just doing work, maybe even seeing people die.

That was a sad thought.

_Tonight belongs to all the children,_

_Tonight their joy rings through the air_

_And so we send our tender blessings_

_To all the children everywhere._

Darcy only bought this song because someone recommended it to her, and she'd never really gotten into it, preferring the upbeat or girly numbers. But this was giving her a whole new appreciation for it.

_To see the smiles and hear the laughter_

_A time to give, a time to share,_

_Because it's Christmas,_

_For now and forever,_

_For all of the children_

_And for the children in us all._

Tony was smiling widely now, gazing at Bruce as the doctor continued to sing along, seeming more content. The smile softened, then even dimmed slightly. Something like realisation dawned on his face, and he stared, open-mouthed, at his science bro.

Oh, _hell_ no. Didn't he already know how he felt?

Why was this only happening now? C'mon, people! Was he really that out of touch with his emotions? Stupid geniuses.

_Tonight belongs to all the children,_

_Tonight their joy rings through the air._

_And so we send our tender blessings_

_To all the children everywhere._

Bruce's eyes opened as he began to sing more earnestly. As he looked around at everyone, rather than shrinking away – which seemed to be his usual practice – he seemed to gain confidence. Jane (who probably recommended the song in the first place) sang a harmony with him.

_To see the smiles and hear the laughter,_

_A time to give, a time to share,_

_Because it's Christmas_

_For now and forever,_

_For all of the children_

_And for the children in us all._

There was a lot of applause at the end. When Bruce finally noticed Tony's intense look, he turned his head away slightly, choosing to examine the floor instead, cheeks going a bit pink. It was cute, if slightly annoying.

"Good songs tonight, guys," Darcy said as she turned off her music player. "Really. But, uh, maybe next time we should have something a little less melancholy?"

"We're halfway through our visit now," Jane said, and she smiled up at Thor as he tightened his arms around her. "We'll still see each other a lot."

"I should hope so," he rumbled.

As they began to file out, Darcy looked suspiciously at Tony and Bruce.

"They're only getting it _now_?" she hissed to Maria. "Seriously?"

"Scientists are allowed to be dense about practical things."

"But if Tony's only figuring out _his_ feelings now, how long will it take the doc?"

"Not my problem, Lewis."

"What? Okay, wait. I get you being annoyed about the iPod, even though I have a _bitching_ collection of Christmas songs. And Thor's parents are enjoying this. Either that, or they're really good at pretending which, considering they're royalty, is actually kind of expected, so maybe they're not having that much fun. And Thor wouldn't like it if they, you know, beheaded me or something for annoying them when they're acting like it's okay—"

"Lewis, that's enough."

"Yes, ma'am."

"I am referring to." Maria sighed, and dragged Darcy further to the side as they continued to the sleeping chambers. Sif and Jane were deep in conversation, and Natasha was trailing behind them. "I am referring to you letting everyone else make the musical choices."

"Isn't that more democratic? And like I can choose my top ten favourite Christmas ditties."

Maria jerked her head subtly towards Natasha, and Darcy rolled her eyes.

"Okay," she admitted. "It probably wasn't the best idea. But if people are going to choose heart-breaking songs, it's their own fault if they get emotional."

"What they do in their own time is up to them," Maria said. "But in front of other people… it's inadvisable to—"

"Again, not my fault. I'm not going to go against assassins, or scientists with anger management issues, am I? There's no way I'd win in a fair fight, and going against any of the Avengers is _not_ a fair fight. Well, maybe against Cap or Thor. But even then, they probably wouldn't know their own strength. I'm a delicate flower."

Maria snorted delicately. "Remind me to have a talk with you tomorrow."

"Aren't we having a talk right now?"

"A different talk. One where we won't be overhead."

"I don't think anyone's going to—"

"I can hear you," Natasha said. Darcy's jaw dropped.

"Wha… but I'm being quiet."

"Super assassin hearing."

"Well, f—"

"As I said," Natasha murmured, looking back over her shoulder as they entered the room. "I… I like irony."

She sauntered casually enough to her bed to grab her pyjamas. Maria leaned close to Darcy and just barely breathed into her ear:

"Romanov, Barton, and Coulson were all very close. Don't forget that."

"Why would I forget it?"

"Just make sure that you don't," Maria said. Darcy breathed out slowly as the SHIELD agent went searching for her own pyjamas, then flung herself onto her bed to fish hers out from under her pillow.

"We seriously need to convince Stark just to jump Banner already," she said loudly.

"I agree with your assessment, Darcy," Sif piped up, removing her armour. She wore it out of habit, she'd told them. "How do you plan to fulfil this quest?"

"Dunno," Darcy replied. "Probably just tell him to get on with it."

"Or we could convince him in song," Maria called from behind the 'washroom' screen.

"You're being sarcastic, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Pity, because _I_ think it's a great idea," Darcy said, grinning wickedly at Sif. "And, my dear Agent Hill, I think that since you thought of it, you should request the song to do it."

"Oh no. You're not getting me in on this."

"It's just me, Clint, and Steve left now, and we're here for another three nights. The royal family will expect two songs a night now. It'd be a waste to gather for just one number."

"Why don't you choose something, and say I picked it?"

"Nope. I'm saving my favourite song for last. So someone else is stepping into the breach, and I can't talk about it with the boys, since they're on the other side of the castle or something."

"Verily," Sif said solemnly, and Darcy narrowed her eyes. She was never _quite_ sure how much Thor and his friends were messing with her. Heck, she had trouble like that with everyone. What made them any different?

Words like 'verily', actually. That's what made them different. Also, they were from a freaking alternate dimension.

Whatever. Time for bed.

* * *

**Oh dear. The feels!**

**I wouldn't say the next two songs are upbeat. At all. Not really as depressing as the others have been. I mean, they're not depressing, either. Just in context, they're a little bit… sad. You know. For Christmas.**

**Plotty stuff coming up in the next few chapters! Honest! I mean, we get character stuff and all that. And I'll try to get more inter-world stuff happening. But big, plotty, fix-it thingummy coming up. Especially watch out for chapters eight and nine. Yep.**

**How's my Darcy voice going? And just everything, really? Terribly nervous about this. If it wasn't for the fact that this is fan fiction, and therefore can be as non-canon and out-of-character (though hopefully not too much) as I like, I'd be a lot more worried. And, hey, I don't sound too English, do I? (I'm Australian, but I've always sounded more British than Aussie.) Or English-trying-to-sound-American?**


	7. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas"

"Lewis, over here."

Darcy followed Maria out after breakfast, until she could no longer hear the sounds of the others' chatter.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see. Just wait here."

A few minutes later, Frigga rocked up.

"Come with me," she said.

Darcy seriously hoped that they'd have some kind of guide going back, because there was no way she was going to remember the way. It felt like an eon or something before they reached a room which she didn't even notice until the queen said the magic words.

"Wait out here," Maria said.

"Why was I dragged here if I'm not allowed to see what's behind that door?" Darcy asked.

"Because I'm not yet authorised to tell you for another twenty-four hours. Queen Frigga has been assisting SHIELD in a confidential matter. Not even the Avengers know anything about this. Just me, Nick Fury, Frigga, and now you."

"And Heimdall," Frigga added, nudging the door open a crack. Darcy twitched in frustration.

"So…?"

"I'm going back to Earth tomorrow, so you'll be taking over for me," Maria said. Darcy gaped at her. "Yes, it's a big honour, you should feel so proud of yourself, et cetera, et cetera. Close your mouth, Lewis."

Darcy was so stunned that she didn't budge until after the door had been closed in her face. She then grinned so widely she could give the Cheshire Cat a serious run for his money.

Leaning against the wall, Darcy tried to imagine what big surprise – a secret weapon? – was in that room. Did Odin even know? Probably. And if it was a weapon, wouldn't he be in on it? Or maybe! Maybe there was some kind of world peace treaty, and Frigga was really the cover. Maybe Frigga was Odin in disguise! She'd stick to 'your highness', just in case. And possibly squeal. Definitely squeal. She couldn't wait to tell…

Oh, wait. Confidential. She could keep a secret. Especially if it was just for twenty-four hours. Yep. Agent Hill wouldn't trust her with something like this if she didn't think that Darcy could keep her mouth shut about this for a little ol' day. No biggie!

She didn't learn anything more about the secret when Frigga and Maria finally came back through the door. Darcy stood to attention straight away, and fell into step beside them as they went a different way.

"What do I do when I, you know, take over?" she asked.

"You'll be responsible for getting the package back to Earth," Maria said. "A very important package."

Okay, not so good.

"Uh, you really think I'm cut out for such a responsibility?"

"You are perfectly capable of such a task," Frigga (or Odin?) said.

"Thanks, Fri— uh, your highness. Is the package… dangerous to handle?"

"A bit," Maria said, and she smirked when Darcy spluttered. "You'll be safe."

"Says the woman passing the buck," Darcy mumbled.

She was no wiser about what this mysterious object was supposed to be by that evening, even though she kept mulling over it during lunch, then dinner. She'd been placed next to Fandral that night, and took great pleasure in stabbing him with her fork when he tried to get handsy. It turned out he was just joking. She said that she just jokingly stabbed him. After all, jokes were fun, right? A gods healed quickly. It would've taken him a lot longer to regrow a certain part of his anatomy. Good thing for him that he just touched her knee.

"Capsicle should go next," Tony called before they'd even sat down in the Magical Room of iPodness.

"Oh," Steve said. "I don't know much of this new Christmas stuff."

"There's gotta be something," Darcy said, waving him over. "Come on. I'll have you know this is an _epic_ playlist."

Steve hummed noncommittally, and got to his knees behind her. He seemed uncomfortable looking over her shoulder, but she sighed, and told him it was alright. One glance showed that he was squinting as he scanned the titles. She knew she'd hit the jackpot when he soon lit up like a goddamned Christmas tree.

"This one?" she asked, pointing. He nodded enthusiastically.

"I've been getting caught up on her films," he said. "Is it… is it Judy singing this one?"

"As if I'd have any other versions," she scoffed. He grinned as he returned to his place between Sif and Volstagg.

_Have yourself a merry little Christmas,_

_Let your heart be light._

_Next year all our troubles will be out of sight._

"Of course," Tony muttered. Darcy glared at him, and he shut up. So what if Steve had a crush on Judy Garland? She was from his generation, not to mention that he got _Wizard of Oz_ references. When Thor told her about that, asking Jane what Tony meant, she couldn't help but 'aw'.

_Have yourself a merry little Christmas,_

_Make the yuletide gay._

_Next year all our troubles will be miles away._

Except… oh god. Steve was already wiping tears away. Sif patted him on the shoulder. To a normal person, it probably would've knocked them over.

Well, it _was_ a poignant moment in the movie, so yeah. Darcy could see why he'd be all emotional, maybe thinking about Manhattan. All those people who died, never knew that last year's Christmas would be their last. And their families would be devastated. Stupid wars.

_Once again, as in olden days,_

_Happy golden days of yore,_

_Faithful friends who are near to us,_

_Will be near to us once more._

Scratch that. Anyone who remembered Manhattan would be teary-eyed over this song. Damn Judy Garland for being the queen of ballads, and little Margaret O'Brien for being able to cry on cue like that.

No matter how great Asgard was, Darcy was glad their visit was now halfway over. She was feeling homesick.

_Someday soon we all be together_

_If the fates allow._

_Until then we'll have to muddle through somehow,_

_So have yourself a merry little Christmas now._

"Thanks, Steve," Jane whispered, leaning into Thor's side.

"Yeah, thanks," Tony said. "Now we're all blubbering again."

"It's the return of Captain Tactless," Clint remarked. Darcy tried not to giggle as their eyes met. "You've got no soul, Stark."

"It's my heart that's missing, but thanks for the new name, Legolas. I'll remember that one."

"Guys, guys," Steve said. "Look, I'm sorry. But I didn't really recognise most of the other songs on there, and I didn't want to keep you all waiting. Plus, I'm sure the, uh, musical thingy is getting worn out pretty quickly."

"See?" Darcy said. "Captain America cares about my iPod. So who's next?"

And she gave Maria her own Significant Look.

* * *

**The movie referred to is 'Meet Me in St Louis', of course. Actually, my favourite song in that film is The Trolley Song. I kind of want to learn the whole thing, then sing it when I'm on the bus. Or on the train. Or a taxi, so long as I'm not the only passenger. Ooh! Could you imagine if I sang that the entire way through an aeroplane trip? *Sniggers***

**Due to the tags, I'm sure you can guess what the precious cargo is that Darcy will be responsible for as of chapter nine. I wish I could be obscure about this, but I so clearly can't. Sigh. Darn you, tags! You foil me again!**

**See you next chapter, my dears.**


	8. Don't Save It All For Christmas Day

"Don't Save It All For Christmas Day"

The staring match was brief. It felt like forever; but no one seemed to have noticed it, so it couldn't have been all that long. Finally, she caved.

"Fine," Maria said. "I'm going back tomorrow anyway. Consider this my parting gift."

"You'll no longer be gracing us with your presence?" Tony asked.

"I'm sure you'll grin and bear it, Stark. What've you got for me, Lewis?"

"You want a recommendation?" Darcy said, blinking up in surprise as Maria stood before her, arms crossed.

"It was your idea," she said, quietly so that only Darcy (and Thor's parents) could hear. "You must know what you want."

"Yeah, I might've given it some thought last night," Darcy said casually. Maria nodded sharply, turned about on her heel, and Darcy flicked through the songs quickly until she found… yes, thank you, Miss Dion.

Oh, please let Stark and Banner get the message. This was just getting sad. The little sideways glances they kept shooting each other spoke volumes of pure pathetic-ness.

_Don't get so busy that you miss_

_Giving just a little kiss_

_To the ones you love._

Tony glanced at Bruce.

_Don't even wait a little while_

_Give 'em just a little smile_

_A little is enough._

Bruce glanced at Tony. And smiled!

_How many people are cryin'_

_People are dyin'?_

_How many people are asking for love?_

Celine Dion's voice rang through the room, and all the girls held their breath collectively, watching the scientists. Darcy was nearly bouncing in her seat. (A familiar sensation, to be honest.)

_So don't save it all for Christmas Day._

_Find a way to give a little love every day._

_Don't save it all for Christmas Day._

_Find your way, 'cause holidays have come and gone._

_But love lives on if you give on love._

Bruce and Tony kind of smiled at each other, before looking away again quickly. Even Maria and Natasha slumped.

_How could you wait another minute?_

_A hug is warmer when you're in it,_

_And, baby, that's a fact._

Now the rest of the guys seemed to pick up on what was happening, and they also watched with interest. Darcy cranked up the volume. There was no danger of running out of battery anytime soon. She could risk it.

_And saying I love you's always better,_

_Seasons, reasons, they don't matter._

_So don't hold back._

"Kiss!" she hissed. But Tony and Bruce just didn't hear.

Clint had the initiative to lean across and shove the billionaire into Bruce's arms. Thank Odin for impatient archers.

_How many people in this world,_

_So needful in this world?_

_How many people are praying for love?_

"Hey," Tony grumped. But he didn't seem to mind too much when he spotted Bruce's hand on his waist. He visibly gulped. When the doctor went to move away, Tony grabbed his hand and held it in place.

_So don't save it all for Christmas Day._

_Find a way to give a little love every day._

_Don't save it all for Christmas Day._

_Find your way, 'cause holidays have come and gone._

_But love lives on if you give on love._

Darcy thought to look back at Odin and Frigga to see what they thought of this. They were both leaning forward _ever_ so slightly. Darcy, being so close, was probably the only one who could tell. And they were holding hands. So sweet! She didn't know what was cuter; that, or the silent display Bruce and Tony were giving as their eyes slowly met.

_Let all the children know everywhere they go,_

_Their whole life long, let them know love._

Their faces were getting closer, and Darcy lowered the music a bit, just so it wouldn't distract them.

_So don't save it all for Christmas Day._

_Find a way to give a little love every day._

_Don't save it all for Christmas Day_

_Find your way, 'cause holidays have come and gone._

_But love lives on if you give on love._

_Love._

Bruce backed away at the last moment, and Tony let go just as swiftly, shuffling away. That was when they noticed everyone else; probably because they all huffed as one, and Clint and Maria and hit them both around the back of the head.

"You're so frustrating!" Natasha burst out. "You have the chance for happiness together, and you're too stupid to take it! What's wrong with you? It would serve you both right if you ended up all alone in the end."

"Wait, you've got it all wrong," Tony said, his hands wiping the air in front of him. "Really. Hasn't she?" He looked back at Bruce, who wasn't meeting his eyes. "Brucie? She has it… hasn't… Hang on." He began to smile. "Is she right? Is Romanov right?"

"You tell me," Bruce muttered.

"I want to hear it from you. Is she right about us? We have a chance?" The doctor shrugged. "`Cause I'd really like that chance."

Bruce raised his head slowly. His lips turned up at the corners even more slowly. Darcy could swear that her heart was just about jumping like a jackhammer against her poor, innocent ribs.

"Really?"

"Yeah," Tony said softly. "Didn't really know what I wanted until last night, but now I do know. I want it all. With you." He turned red. "If you want it, too. Don't feel obligated or anything…"

"Oh, shut up, Tony," Bruce said, and he pulled the billionaire into a kiss.

"Yes!" Jane, Sif, and Darcy cheered.

Now that the lovesick scientists were sorted out, Darcy felt that they could head home a day early, if they felt like it. They were supposed to go back to Mid— damn it, back to Earth on Christmas Day, their last night being Christmas Eve.

So that made today… hmm… the eve of the eve of Christmas Eve. Wow. Good thing she got all her shopping done. Thank you, Amazon and Fed Ex.

"Have a safe trip back," Bruce said to Maria. She half-smiled.

"Thank you, Dr. Banner," she said.

"Give Director Fury our regards."

"I will."

"And our love," Clint said. Maria's half-smile turned into something smug.

"It's not _your_ love he'll be getting, Barton," she said. Darcy nearly choked on an inhale. Frigga placed a hand on her shoulder, and Darcy's airway was immediately cleared. She smiled up at the queen.

"Thanks, your highness."

"I am a Healer, Miss Lewis," she said. "Such a small thing takes very little thought to fix."

"Still a great trick," Darcy remarked. She remembered to switch off the iPod, and tucked it back into her jacket pocket. Asgard was cool enough to warrant wearing it outside of the bedroom, which was good. At least she had somewhere to stuff her 'musical thingy'.

It didn't sound dirty coming from Steve Rogers; but it did in her head.

Goodnights over with, the men and women split up, Tony and Bruce bringing up the rear (so to speak) with arms slung around each other's waists. Maria strode next to Darcy after they were done admiring their handiwork.

"You've told no one," she said.

"Nope."

"That was not a question."

"Oh. Still. My lips are sealed."

"Good. I will wake you earlier than usual, so we can go back to that room."

"I can't believe she just took us the winding way so that we wouldn't be followed, when we ended up just a few doors away from the room we've just left. Way to confuse us."

"You will mention the location to no one."

"Of course not."

"That wasn't a question, either."

"…I knew that. And I'm really not freaking terrified of what might happen if I spill the beans accidentally, which is why I am keeping _very_ quiet about all this. Happy? If I have nightmares, I'm blaming you."

Maria didn't seem in the least bit sorry about scaring Darcy. Well, see if she got a Christmas card next year!

* * *

**I'm sure Maria's shaking in her standard-issue SHIELD combat boots. Or whatever she's wearing in Asgard.**

**There. Problem solved re. Science Boyfriends. And I'm going to bed now. Editing can, as ever, wait until later. I self-edit/beta, just because it's quicker. And because I don't want to bother anyone else. And I feel that I should be making the effort anyway. If this was an actual, original work of fiction being published, rather than fan fiction, I'd bow to the wishes of an editor. (Eventually. Insofar as my own artistic integrity would allow.)**

**Waffling over with. What do you think of it all so far? And whose song will be coming next? Any guesses?**


	9. White Christmas

"White Christmas"

Darcy was learning a heck of a lot during her holiday. One of her favourite things was learning how to swear like an Asgardian. Now, if she insulted anyone who tried to hit on her back home, she could say what she thought of them and they wouldn't even know what language she was speaking, let alone the words. (And if they did, it would probably be Loki in disguise. Great way to tell him apart from everyone else.)

But Darcy's absolute, most favourite thing of all, was finding out what was behind that door. She said goodbye to Maria that morning, and was then accompanied to the room, where she met the queen, as well as… well, the subject of her secret.

"What in Odin's name…?" she asked, staring.

"The walls are actually pretty thin. Been enjoying your nightly concerts, Lewis."

"Uh… thanks?"

"I've got a request for you."

"Yeah. Sure. W-whatever you want. Um." She looked up at Frigga. "What's going on, your highness?"

"I did say yester-evening that I am a Healer," the queen replied. "I considered this a worthwhile use of my powers, and I have it on very good authority that the 'parcel' will be well-received."

"That's an understatement," Darcy muttered. "You know they were all crying the other night?"

"I am aware, Lewis."

"Just so you know," she said, pointing at him. Then she looked at Frigga. "Well, at least this package of yours is self-sufficient. So." She glanced from one to the other. "What's the plan?"

"Something dramatic, but not overly-dramatic." A smile. "Sure you can work it out. But first, my song request."

* * *

Darcy was tossing her iPod from one hand to the other as she sat before Odin and Frigga. They both knew; she knew that they knew, and they knew that she knew, and that she knew that they knew that she knew that they…

She was going to go crazy. And her audience looked like they thought that, too. She laughed nervously as she looked at them.

"I've, uh, had a request," she said. "A song. You should all… well, the Midgardians should all know this one. So… here it goes. This is for Phil Coulson." And she hit 'play' just as Clint raised his eyebrows at her.

_I'm dreaming of a white Christmas_

_Just like the ones I used to know (I used to know),_

_Where the tree-tops glisten and children listen_

_To hear sleighbells in the snow. (To hear the sleighbells ringing.) _

Jane and Bruce were singing the harmonies. Bruce and Tony sounded great together, just as they looked great together huddled together. They were glowing, heads resting against each other, even as they sang. Darcy bet they couldn't wait to get home. They couldn't get up to anything sharing a room with all the others, and everyone was together all day, teaching the Asgardians how to make snow angels and built forts. The plan was to have a snowball fight tomorrow.

Darcy was so teaming up with Clint. He had the best aim. Either that, or she'd just watch again. Knowing Jane, that probably wasn't an option.

Yep. They had snow in Asgard. It was better than going to Jötunheim.

_I'm dreaming of a white Christmas_

_With every Christmas card I write. (Each card I write.)_

_May your days be merry and bright (Merry and bright)_

_And may all your Christmases be white._

She turned up the music, but some magic must have been involved in keeping the door silent as it opened. Darcy very carefully kept her eyes on the audience. Natasha was obviously trying to keep it together, and Clint was rubbing her back. At least they were two thirds of the way through now.

_I'm dreaming of a white Christmas_

_With every Christmas card I write. (Each card I write.)_

_May your days be merry and bright (Merry and bright)_

_And may all your Christmases be white._

It wasn't a long song, but it made eyes glisten, not the tops of trees. Darcy couldn't help but smile when she saw the familiar figure enter the room, singing along with the last line. Some of the others were singing as well; but his voice was loud enough to alert at least one person.

Natasha's head jerked up, and she straightened. Clint's hand fell from her back, and he asked her what was up. She shook her head as she stood up, then turned.

Darcy wished she could see Natasha's face. But she saw Coulson's face clear enough, and he was glowing nearly as much as Tony and Bruce.

"Hey," he said. All the Avengers and Jane turned around then, and Darcy knew their jaws must have all dropped.

Natasha said something in Russian; judging from her vehemence, and from Odin's startled laugh, it was a swearword. Possibly worse. Darcy noticed that Phil braced himself as Natasha started towards him.

Darcy's own jaw hit the ground as the assassin grabbed his collar and yanked him into what looked like a _very_ involved kiss. She threw her arms around his neck, and he pulled her close, hands stroking her waist. Darcy tilted her head, trying hard not to 'aw'. First it was Bruce and Tony getting that reaction out of her; this was totally unexpected. It explained a lot, sure; but it was still unexpected.

"This is good," Frigga murmured. Darcy looked up at her, and she looked back. "It is always a thing of wonder to see two yearning hearts united. We have had the privilege to witness it twice these past two days."

"Thank you," Darcy said. "You know, for bringing him back, and looking after him."

"You knew about this!" Clint said, scowling at her. "You knew this whole time—"

"Whoa, whoa," Darcy said, raising her hands, trying to placate him. "I didn't know until this morning. They told me to keep it secret until tonight. Do you _really_ think I'm going to go against the queen? And Maria Hill," she added as an afterthought.

"Darce, I swear to God…"

She tutted. "Not in front of Thor's parents," she said.

Phil and Natasha finally separated. Everyone went back to watching them as Phil cradled her face.

"I'm okay now," he said. "If it wasn't for Queen Frigga, I'd be dead. We didn't even know if I'd pull through, not until a couple of weeks ago."

"I… I thought," Natasha whispered. "You were _dead_, Phil." Her voice was choked, and she couldn't continue. He kept stroking her cheeks.

"Hill came to make sure I could go home, and I'm allowed to. She's gone back to report to Fury. I'm off bed-rest now."

"His was the one life we could save, the one life Loki almost took," Odin said. Darcy craned her head around to look at him. "We did not even inform Thor, in case he should give you false hope."

"Father," Thor said, looking hurt. "I must protest—"

"Keep quiet, Thor."

"…Yes, Father."

Darcy snorted. She smothered it quickly.

"I thought I'd lost you," Natasha said, pushing against Phil's chest. He didn't let her force him away. "Don't you _ever_ do that again, do you understand?"

"Aw, I didn't know you cared," he said, smiling, clearly joking. She huffed.

"Of course I care," she said. "I love you."

His smile faltered. "You do?"

She nodded, sniffling. "I had no idea. Not until Fury told us that the paramedics called it… son of a bitch. He's been equivocating this whole time." She swore in Russian again.

"Creative," Odin muttered.

"You're in love with me?" Phil clarified. Natasha nodded again. It was impossible for her to wipe away her tears surreptitiously, so she made up for it with speed. Phil kissed her again. Darcy's head fell to the side again. This time, she did say 'aw'. "You've been saying for years that love is—"

"For children," she said. "I know. Well." She rested her hands on his shoulders. "I never had a real childhood. Let me have that now."

"Whatever you want," he said softly. She buried her face in his chest. He half-smiled at Clint over her head. "Barton."

"Sir," he said, sounding lost. He paused, then shrugged. "One of you hurts the other, the one doing the hurting has to answer to me."

"Duly noted, Hawkeye."

Things seemed to get awkward again. There was only one way out of this.

* * *

**And as any self-respecting 'Glee' fan would tell you, that's to SING!**

**When I was trying to decide on which songs to use, I saw the next song and thought it perfect for the person who chooses it. And, let's be honest, not much choice left, is there? I don't know it all that well, but I knew of it, and it seemed perfect for this person's voice.**

**Still far too many songs to choose from for you to decide. Meh. 'White Christmas' had no special significance; it's just one of those typically Christmassy songs that it would be remiss to leave out. I don't have Bing singing it on my laptop. *Sad face* I do, however, have Deano (Dean Martin). *Happy face***

**Feel free to have a guess, though. Betcha can't guess it!**


	10. Don't They Know It's Christmas?

"Do They Know It's Christmas?"

"So, uh, next song?" Darcy said. She received a number of hard looks, and had to fight the urge to shrink away. "Clint, honey, it's your turn to pick a song."

"You pick one," he said.

"No way! I'm saving mine `til last. It's my iPod." And she cradled it close. "C'mon. Running out of battery, here."

He sighed – it was almost a huff – and stalked over to her. She tried to raise one eyebrow at him (and probably failed) as he sank down beside her.

"Lucky for you you're so cute," he said, and he took over the iPod. She let him scroll down the list of music, blushing when he hummed in approval. Just before he selected his song, she grabbed his hand.

"Thought you'd pick that one," she said. "Here." And she found the instrumental version. "Can I sing with you?"

"It's your iPod."

"I want everyone to hear your beautiful voice." He laughed, and slung an arm around her shoulders as she pressed play. Natasha helped Phil sit down carefully as the music began.

"Great choice, Barton," Tony said, grinning. Clint chuckled, and Darcy leaned into her boyfriend's side as he sang.

_It's Christmas-time, there's no need to be afraid._

_At Christmas-time, we let in light and we banish shade._

_And in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy._

_Throw your arms around the world at Christmas-time._

Darcy smiled at Odin in thanks as the lights dimmed. He nodded, looking thoughtful as he listened to the words. She wondered how much he knew about Mid— about _Earth_, and its history. Or maybe he was a secret romantic. That was a giggle-worthy thought.

_But say a prayer, to pray for the other ones_

_At Christmas-time. It's hard, but when you're having fun_

_There's a world outside your window, and it's a world of dread and fear_

_Where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears._

She joined in, glaring at Clint when he made her sing by herself for a few lines. The twinkle in his eyes clearly said 'payback'. She elbowed him in the ribs, hard, to make him behave, and he squeezed her waist.

_And the Christmas bells that ring there_

_Are the clanging chimes of doom._

_Well, tonight thank God it's them instead of you._

Tony, who clearly knew the song well, chose to harmonise with them. Bruce was nodding along, probably thinking about his Christmases while he was on the run from the military, and playing doctor to the poor. Darcy sure was thinking about what it must have been like, and watched the two of them for a moment.

_And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas-time,_

_The greatest gift they'll get this year is life._

_Oh._

_Where nothing ever grows,_

_No rain or rivers flow,_

_Do they know it's Christmas-time at all?_

The others from back home all chimed in on that line. It was probably the only one they knew out of the whole song.

"Damn, Barton has a good voice," Tony stage whispered to Bruce. Clint almost flipped him off; Darcy grabbed his hand in time. None of that in front of Frigga and Odin. But she smirked. Yes, Clint had a good voice. She bought the instrumental version of that song just so she could make him sing it sometime, along with some others in his style. She didn't think they'd be singing in Asgard; but that was okay.

_Here's to you, raise a glass for ev'ryone;_

_Here's to them underneath that burning sun._

_Do they know it's Christmas-time at all?_

Someone must've taught Sif and the Warriors Three the line, and given them a cue, because they chimed in as well. Frigga and Odin laughed, loudly enough for Darcy and Clint to hear, and shuffled closer together.

_Feed the world._

_Feed the world._

_Feed the world,_

_Let them know it's Christmas-time again._

_Let them know it's Christmas-time again…_

Darcy waited until the end of the fade-out before she switched off the iPod. Clint kissed her on the cheek; and, damnit, she blushed.

She wasn't the only one being kissed. Bruce and Tony were lip-locked; Thor was kissing Jane's hair while she talked to Volstagg and Hogun; and Phil was kissing the corners of Natasha's eyes. Was she crying? Okay, so now Darcy felt bad, and it wasn't even her fault. Seriously! Just because she kept quiet about it all day, now _she_ was the bad guy…

"It's only `cause Fury and Hill aren't here," Clint whispered, and he kissed behind her ear. She shivered.

"So I'm the scapegoat or something?"

"I don't think so. They must've known they could trust you not to tell anyone. Or maybe Hill realised that you sneaking your iPod into Asgard turned out to be a good thing."

"Yeah." She settled back in his arms. "I wish we all had separate rooms. Or, you know, couples rooms."

"Not while you are in the presence of fertility gods and goddesses," Odin rumbled. Darcy turned even redder.

"Sorry, your highness," she said.

If wishes were fishes, Darcy thought as they spilt up again. It was hardest to tear Phil and Natasha apart.

"If I wake up, and find that it's all been a dream—"

"It's real," he said, stroking her hair. He kissed her on the nose, then the lips. "See you in the morning."

She murmured something in Russian (Darcy decided that was a language she had to learn), and Phil laughed. Clint swooped in to kiss Darcy goodnight, spanking her once before he joined the Warriors Three. If she didn't mind being objectified every so often, Darcy would have been more offended.

She was the first one to get washed up, changed into pyjamas, and teeth-brushed, before squirreling into her bedcovers. She put her iPod away carefully, and immediately picked up a book she'd been putting off reading for months now. Something called _The Time Machine_. She'd only picked it because it was short; and since it was by H G Wells, it could be considered classy literature. Also, she really liked the movie of _War of the Worlds_. That was Wells, right? Someone like him, anyway.

"How long have you been reading that?"

Darcy jumped. When had Natasha got changed? And when'd she snuck up on Darcy like that? Freaking ninjas, all of `em.

"I h-haven't actually started it yet," she replied. Was Natasha going to tell her to skip to the end before she ended Darcy once and for all?

"Strange," Natasha said. She looked over at Jane. "When did she decide to start reading _The Time Machine_?"

"She still hasn't read it?" Jane asked, sounding surprised. Well, what'd she expect? "I lent that to you ages ago, Darce!"

"Only because it was either this or that kids book," Darcy said, affronted. "I didn't want to look like an idiot."

"You're studying poli-sci," Jane said. Darcy didn't know whether to be flattered or offended.

"So this was before you met Clint?" Natasha said.

"Yeah. Jane and Dr. Selvig kept making jokes about science-fiction literature, so I asked for some recommendations. This was one of them. Jane said I could borrow her copy. I just, uh, haven't gotten around to reading it."

"Hmm." Natasha nodded shortly. "It's one of Clint's favourites."

"Really?" Darcy sat up straighter. "Okay, I'm going to start this _now_. We don't have anything else in common, so." She snuggled down. "I'm gonna get right on this."

"Do not forget to read the introduction."

"I won't…"

"This is an example of Midgardian literature?" Sif asked. Her question led to an in-depth discussion about the old classics and modern classics, which faded into the background as Darcy delved into the world of the Time Traveller and his visit hundreds of millennia into the future.

* * *

**Bloody smegging internet won't connect at home. At least, I can't get my laptop connected to our wireless internet because humans are STUPID and technology is barely worth the TROUBLE and I was enough of an idiot to suggest that Mum get a new computer which is why we've had to redo the wireless which is why I CAN'T CONNECT!**

**So I'm posting this from her computer. And I'm pissed off about the whole thing, in case you can't tell. This close to an emotional breakdown. Fun.**

**Only two more chapters! Two of my favourite Christmas songs, very different in styles. Because why not?**

**Please review, especially if you want to yammer on about 'The Time Machine', and/or what you think of my approach. I'm not used to doing the big, emotional couple scenes from the point-of-view of an onlooker, so I don't think I'm doing Natasha/Phil justice. Fear not! I'm in the planning stages for a story with that pairing. I believe the ship's name is Black Tie?**


	11. Jingle-Bell Rock

"Jingle-Bell Rock"

The snowball fight was… interesting, to say the least. Darcy was lucky enough to end up on Clint's side. She was surprisingly good at making snowballs on demand, and they were a formidable team. Hogun and Sif defected to their side when it became clear who was winning. At first. Once Frigga declared that Phil was well enough to join in, they were in trouble. He joined the opposite side, fighting alongside Natasha.

Fandral and Thor, also on their side, taunted Sif and Hogun. They were so confident that Darcy hit both of them with well-aimed shots, before ducking behind their wall of snow. Volstagg, who was watching the whole thing, burst out into booming laughs.

"They don't even know what hit `em," Clint said as he crouched beside her, where she was shaking with laughter and cold, forming more projectiles. "Doing well, Lewis."

"Thanks, Barton," she said, handing him an armful of snowballs. "Don't let those hawk's eyes fail us now."

In the end, Odin declared it a draw, and both sides shook hands. When Thor and Fandral found out who'd sneakily decked them with snow, they congratulated Darcy, kissing her hand dramatically, backing away when Clint inched closer to her, and telling her they would sing about her 'dexterity with a ball of ice when in the midst of war'.

Darcy was super excited about tonight. Yeah, it was their last night in Asgard; but it was also her turn to pick a song from her extensive play-list. There were at least a hundred tracks, probably even one-fifty. But she was determined to end on a light, jazzy note. So she picked her favourite Christmas song of all time.

"Sit back, relax," she said, waving her hands. "And join in if you know the words."

"There's no way any of us can follow Barton," Steve said, and Clint looked close to preening. Darcy poked her tongue out at him. "Is it a well-known song?"

"Uh, define well-known?"

"Oh yeah." He turned a little bit red. "Never mind."

"Hey, it's an epic song," she said. Then she remembered the last time she'd used 'epic' in front of Thor, and changed her wording. "I mean, it's a great song. Jane probably knows which one it is."

"I think I do," Jane agreed. "You'd probably like it, Steve."

"Okay," he said. He didn't look convinced as he settled back. Darcy shrugged, and tapped 'play'. She grinned as the introduction poured out of the tiny speakers.

_Jingle-bell, jingle-bell, jingle-bell rock,_

_Jingle-bell swing and jingle-bells ring._

_Snowin' and blowin' up bushels of fun;_

_Now the jingle-bop has begun._

And they sure were bopping along. Darcy was tilting her head from side to side, singing, Tony was making robotic dance movements, and Jane was clapping. Some of the others were bouncing in their spots, already caught up in the rhythm.

_Jingle-bell, jingle-bell, jingle-bell rock,_

_Jingle-bells chime in jingle-bell time,_

_Dancin' and prancin' in Jingle-bell Square_

_In the frosty air._

That was when people started to chime in. The Asgardians were clapping in time with Jane and Bruce, Clint and Tony were belting out the words with Darcy, and Pepper – who'd returned just before dinner-time – was showing Steve some dance moves that they could do in place. Darcy turned her head around, and saw Odin nodding along, and heard Frigga clapping softly. She couldn't help squealing internally. Gods were (kind of) dancing along with music that she was playing on _her_ iPod! Her family would never believe her, even if SHIELD hadn't sworn her to secrecy.

Actually, it was Thor's puppy dog eyes that convinced her not to tell a soul.

_What a bright time, it's the right time_

_To rock the night away._

_Jingle-bell time is a swell time_

_To go glidin' in a one-horse sleigh._

"What a magnificent idea!" Thor bellowed.

Why did she get the feeling they were going sledding before they left Asgard in the morning? She just hoped it wasn't going to be at ridiculous o'clock, or she may well try god-icide. She was more than halfway through _The Time Machine_, and was damn well going to finish it tonight, if she had to read `til twelve a.m..

_Giddy-up, jingle horse, pick up your feet,_

_Jingle around the clock._

_Mix and mingle in a jinglin' beat,_

_That's the jingle-bell rock._

The song repeated, so Phil and Tony taught Sif and the Warriors Three the words they could remember. Natasha was still pretty much glued to Phil's side. They'd stayed close together during the snowball fight, and shared some celebratory kisses post-'battle'.

Soon, tired of just sitting there, Tony dragged Bruce into the middle of the floor and forced his boyfriend to boogie along with him. When Odin indicated that this was okay, Pepper and Clint pulled Steve up, and showed him some steps. It wasn't long until everyone was dancing. Darcy left the iPod on the floor between Frigga and Odin, and let Clint swing her around for the rest of the song.

_That's the jingle-bell, that's the jingle-bell,_

_That's the jingle-bell rock._

Darcy got back to her iPod in time to stop it before it began the next song. They all sat back down, forgetting that it was supposed to be the last.

"That was great," Phil said, nodding at her. "Good work, Lewis."

"Never question my taste in music, Agent Coulson."

"I'll remember that. Maybe you should make a mix-tape for Stark."

"Hey!" Tony protested. "I have even better taste in music!"

"Just keep telling yourself that."

"Guys—"

"Maybe I should make _you_ a mix-tape, Agent. I could fix it that your car and computer never play anything else. I could change your ring-tone."

"Uh, guys—"

"You do, Tony, and I'll remind you how I became one of the top three agents at SHIELD."

"Guys!"

"What is it, Steve?" Pepper asked, giving Tony and Phil stern looks.

"I, uh, have a request," he said, glancing at Darcy, then at Odin and Frigga. "If that's okay."

* * *

**Ooh… What shall Steve request?**

**Only one chapter left, people. Will you miss this fic when it's over? Or could you really not give a darn?**

**As you may be able to tell from the calmer nature of this author note addition, my laptop is now connected to the internet. I am zen. I am also fluffy. And my baby's connected to the `net, so I can post fan fiction directly to you!**

**I've also discovered that if I post to ffnet first, then copy the text there and paste it into the AO3 thingummy, the spacing is much better. So… yeah. Going to do that from now on. Unless people object, of course.**

**See ya.**


	12. Silent Night

"Silent Night"

Steve forced them all to sit down again when he stood up, and then walked up to the king and queen. He cleared his throat delicately.

"I know it's probably not right to ask this of you, since you're Norse gods and all, as well as being our hosts," he said. "But Christmas was started because God – the God of Christianity – made a virgin pregnant with his child. They named the child Jesus, and he was born in a stable, raised a carpenter, and then died to save everyone from their sins. Then he was brought back to life to keep spreading the message of love and peace. And, well, I'm not here to give a lesson on religion or anything, but I figure that if you're really going to learn about Christmas music, you should be listening to something about its origins." He glanced at Darcy. "Can I look at your play-list again?"

"I have some stuff," she said. "What did you have in mind?"

"I'd…" He shuffled in place. "I'd like 'Silent Night', if you have it."

There were approving murmurs from some of the others. Odin spoke.

"You make an excellent point, Captain Rogers," he said. "It is a most appropriate request. We have enjoyed all your music so far. You would not lead us astray in this, I trust?"

"Of course not," Steve said, wide-eyed. "Darcy?"

"Yeah, I've got it," she said, flicking through her songs. "But the battery's pretty low."

"…Oh."

"Still," she said quickly, "I think it sounds much better without background music. Don't you think?"

Steve beamed at her. "Yeah."

"You know all the words?"

"Of course. Uh." He scratched his head. "Can we get a starting note?"

Darcy sighed, and obliged by playing the first few chords. Then she turned off the iPod, and Steve started them.

_Silent night, holy night,_

_All is calm, all is bright._

_`Round yon virgin mother and child,_

_Holy infant so tender and mild._

_Sleep in heavenly peace,_

_Sleep in heavenly peace._

"This is a most excellent song," Volstagg said. Steve looked bashfully pleased. He was so adorable sometimes.

"There's more," Bruce said.

Steve had to prompt them for some of the lines in the second verse. (Darcy always got the words around the wrong way, unless she was reading them. Duh.)

_Silent night, holy night._

_Shepherds quake at the sight._

_Glories stream from heaven affair,_

_Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia,_

_Christ the Saviour is born!_

_Christ the Saviour is born._

Darcy was suddenly reminded of Christmases when she was a kid. No one in her family could sing that well, so she'd always lock herself in her room Christmas Eve to listen to music by herself. First, on cassettes. Then CDs. That's why she loved her iPod so much; she was the only one not tone-deaf in her family. After years of out-of-tune lullabies, it was nice to hear, well, anything else. Stuff sung in tune.

_Silent night, holy night,_

_Son of God love's pure light._

_Radiant beams from Thy holy face_

_With the dawn of redeeming grace,_

_Jesus Lord at Thy birth._

_Jesus Lord at Thy birth._

This was exactly why she'd wanted to end on a light note, with her personal favourite. People were crying again. Looking up, she saw that Frigga had tear-stained cheeks as well, and was clutching Odin's hand.

But… but everyone was smiling as well. They were happy tears.

Okay. Rogers was forgiven _this_ time.

"Be honest with me," Clint murmured as they brought up the rear leaving the music room. "How much battery power do you have left?"

Darcy sighed, and looked away. "Little over half."

"Then why—"

"The only version I have of 'Silent Night' is a pop version," she admitted. "I didn't think Cap would like it that much, and it's not traditional or anything. And I _do_ think that it sounds better without the instruments in the background. Especially electric guitars." She wrinkled her nose. "They have their place; just not in 'Silent Night'."

"Why d'you have that version?"

"I kind of got carried away when I bought all this stuff," she said, raising the pocket with the iPod nestled inside. "Didn't realise what I'd bought until later. It's okay, once you get used to it. But it wouldn't have demonstrated the point. Besides, could you see everyone being that emotional if I'd played this one?" She fished out her player, and showed Clint the name of the singer. He nodded.

"I get it," he said. "It's been a good holiday, hasn't it?"

"You've got your agent back," she said, looking at Phil. "We made Thor's mum cry… okay, so that's not necessarily a plus. Two couples got together, and I've finally gotten around to reading…" She stopped herself. Of course, Clint immediately narrowed his gaze on her.

"Reading what?" he asked. She mumbled the title. "Wait, really?"

"Didn't know you were a fan," she said. "Natasha told me last night. Hey, I'm still allowed to call her Natasha, aren't I?"

"Yeah. Unless she tells you otherwise."

"There are worse fates."

"Just try to avoid finding out what those are," he said, tugging her closer. "We should've introduced the Asgardians to the concept of mistletoe."

"Jane tried. It turns out that mistletoe and Aesir… don't mix well."

He laughed, and kissed her before they all parted. This time tomorrow, they'd all be back at the Avengers Mansion, and they wouldn't have to separate if they didn't want to. For now, though, the old-fashioned attitude was sort of nice. Not that Darcy would tell anyone that. She'd just be mocked.

* * *

Hill and Fury were standing in the lobby of Stark Tower – sorry, 'Avengers Mansion' – for their heroes and friends to arrive. Stark called as soon as they all landed on Earth, and gave SHIELD an estimated time of arrival. Now its two leaders were anticipating the reception they'd have.

"Probably made things worse by letting Ms. Lewis take the fall for the day," Fury said, hands clasped behind his back. They'd had word that the Avengers were less than ten minutes away; it was just a matter of waiting.

"I had to return, and not just for work," Maria said. "Things would've just been more awkward if I'd revealed it, then stayed, and not at all conducive for the friendly terms we want to be on with Asgard. Lewis wasn't going to leave before everyone else; Barton has her back; and she was providing the musical entertainment. The king and queen seemed happy about it."

"That goddamned iPod…"

"Odin-damned iPod, sir," she said, the corners of her lips twitching upwards as he glanced at her.

"Right," he said. "Next time, we're doing a thorough check."

"Next time it will probably be some kind of Stark technology."

"There they are."

As entrances go, it wasn't especially dramatic; but all the superheroes and their friends seemed pretty damn intimidating as they strode across the floor. Phil and Romanov were walking hand-in-hand… Oh, please not that. Someone must've had it out for Maria.

"We'll come back later," she said, resisting the urge to grab Nick's wrist. "You probably want to settle in, rest up a bit after your trip."

"We did that on the plane here," Stark said, whipping off his sunglasses and pocketing them in one smooth move. "We've got some questions for you, about a certain 'package' you kept secret from us?"

"Really, it can wait," Maria said. "Have a nice Christmas, all of you. Let's go home, Nicholas."

He raised his eyebrow, but followed her lead as they hurried out of the building, while the others stood there, shocked enough not to pursue them.

"Why the code-phrase?" he asked.

"Romanov and Coulson," she said. "Didn't you notice?"

"That might be a problem."

"It won't affect their work, sir; they're too professional for that. But fresh wounds shouldn't be poked. We'll wait until they've had some of Stark's eggnog, then video-conference them to explain."

"That way, they're drunk, and we're on the Helicarrier," Fury said, nodding. "Good plan. Pity we didn't see it coming."

"What if this is all an elaborate ruse?" she asked. "What if I just want to get you alone, all to myself, away from anything work-related?"

He smirked. "What did you have in mind, Agent Hill?"

"Well, sir, you're the only reason I need to be home for Christmas."

THE END

* * *

**Happily ever after! Or whatever.**

**So. Another Christmas fic over. I'm glad I've gotten around to doing one. I was going to start it so that this chapter would appear on Christmas Day, but time got away from me. And technically the twelve days of Christmas start on Christmas Day. Ergo, the first chapter was the present, not the whole fic. Like… like a present that lasts forever, not just the one day! Yeah. I like that.**

**Or maybe this is all an elaborate ruse, to cover my shortcomings. Well, in my case, tallish-comings.**

**I hope you've enjoyed this all as much as I've enjoyed writing it. I like happy stories. *Acts all bashful* Did you like it?**


End file.
